You know me, Weird Ape, sassy simian, immaculate dresser and all-round purveyor of unusual watches. No time to beat around the Burseracea bush (native to only the Congo and neighbouring Cameroon, don’t you know) I’m here to tell you exactly why unusual watches are better than boring old plain watches.
You humans are the only species across the globe that superficially judge each other on appearance. For you, first impressions count – therefore how you dress is really quite important. It’s how you decide to show the whole world what you’re like as a person.
And there are billions of you. Quite literally billions. So standing out of the troop can be difficult. My status as endangered, although rather terrifying, makes it very easy to showcase my individual style. But alas, I can help you also! Try an Excelsior Titanic on for size; from my collection of men’s watches, it’s a distinctive piece with a bronze-coloured case and skeleton dial. It boasts royal blue hands and no visible numerals, making for a great way to stand out from the crowd and an interesting conversation starter.
And that’s another reason right there; quirky, unusual watches will always trump plain old boring watches as they can provide the perfect opportunity to strike up conversation, from one gentrified human to another! Don’t believe me? Try sporting a Steampunk Pocket Watch without being questioned on the story behind it. Not only will the little fella help you out style-wise, he’ll do wonders for your social life!
If I haven’t already convinced you of the power of unusual and cool watches, then I’m here to tell you about confidence. Picture the scene. You’re smartly dressed for a big occasion but you feel a little nervous. There’s something missing. Your eyes fall upon your Excelsior Steam, lying atop your dresser, dark, mysterious and regal looking. You slip it on and BAM! You feel a million Congolese francs! Ready to take on the world… Or that impending job interview!
Okay, so Weird Ape’s imagination is running a little wild (the whole of me is wild, what can I say?) The point behind my dramatisation is that a funky watch can give you confidence. It can complete an outfit with a slick of unique charm. It can also add a hint of your individual style, making your whole look seem fashionable; like it’s been finished with a flourish. And if all else fails, you can whip out your watch and say, ‘Hey, did you see my really weird watch!?’. Don’t expect the job, mind.
It’s easy to think that to be fashionable and stylish is just plain vanity. It’s easy to think that a sunny personality will eclipse a drab attire or detract from the soup stain on one’s anorak. But this is not the case my friends. Get yourself a snappy suit, a new anorak and always accessorise with a smart and unique watch. And thank me for it later.